Well, this is new. I finally did it. I finally got my ass in gear, redesigned the blog, and made the move from WordPress.com to self-hosted. As of this writing there are a still a few kinks I need to work out, and I might mess...
Read MoreWhen I booked my tickets to Detroit, the email confirmation read “Republic Airlines on behalf of United.” This made me frown slightly, for Republic is not among the airlines at my tiny Santa Barbara regional airport, nevermind...
Read MoreHand to God, my father — my rational, mathematically-minded, hard science-loving, fiscally conservative Republican father — swears he saw a UFO. He was 17, and on the tractor. He’d just made a turn when he looked up and...
Read MoreI had a function to attend this past weekend and no suitable clothing for it. So on Friday I was forced to leave the house in search of something to wear. I was cutting through the open-air mall when I saw a new ATM installed...
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I have a giant, hulking canister of herbal sweetener that sits on a shelf above the kitchen...
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I have a problem. I like to steal glass and ceramic wares from restaurants. I couldn’t...
Read MoreThree things. Well, two things, and a story. First. Thank you so much for all your thoughts and insight on my job situation. You guys will probably not be disappointed to find out that my final decision was to go with...
Read MoreSo this morning while I was getting ready for work I started thinking about the T.V. show Intervention, and I started replaying the end of this one episode in my head where the sister and brother and father read their heartfelt...
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SCENE Fifth grade. I am standing in a courtyard between buildings. I am wearing glasses, a white and red t-shirt printed with illustrated dalmatian puppies and hearts, and pink cotton leggings tucked into purposefully mismatched...
Read MoreWhen I was six, my parents and I moved back to the U.S. after being stationed in Germany for three years. What followed was a sincere attempt on the part of our extended family to reassimilate us into American pop culture,...
Read MoreToday marks the sixth anniversary of my move to California. For those unfamiliar with the story, a recap: I used my already-overburdened credit card to buy a one-way flight to L.A. after spending my first year and a half after...
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