It has become apparent to me that my feeble attempt at hilarity in the last post was too obscure. So here’s the first version I did, which I ended up nixing because I thought it was too glaringly obvious of a joke.
“‘There!’ she thought, triumphantly screwing the lid of the honey jar back on. ‘If he doesn’t get the hint now, the bastard never will.'”
So after making this, I reread it and thought, “No, that’s too easy.” I don’t want to hammer my readers over their heads with the damn punchline. My readers are smart! My readers are sophisticated! Trouble is, I confused sophistication with my own personal string of associations made upon looking at this stupid ad, which were: honey > jar > breakfast > toast. That’s why I changed the joke to this: “SHE SMILED. NOW ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS WAIT UNTIL BREAKFAST. IF SHE WASN’T ENGAGED BY THE TIME HIS TOAST WAS BUTTERED, THERE’D BE FRESH HELL TO PAY.”
See, the whole thing was hinging on the fact that I thought it would be clear that the guy in question eats toast with butter and honey for breakfast and that’s why the crazy desperate chick put the rings in the honey! Because she wants him to propose already, like crazy desperate conniving females are wont to do! And because I can’t fathom any other way to explain why these giant sparkly carat-pissing-contests of rings are shown dripping with honey except that jewelry advertisements are BATSHIT INSANE, but that’s pretty much the most obvious statement of all and I can’t make a joke out of that. See? SEE???
Jesus. What a horrifying start to the resurrection of my “making fun of advertisements” series. Before you unsubscribe from this blog in a fit of anger, give me one more chance? I’ll try harder next time, I swear.
I was pickin’ up what you were throwin’ down. This one is good too.
Way to bring back the snarky-ass, down-with-WIC ads! I love ’em!
I saw this post before the other one in my backwards late-on-blogs/current-on-twitter way and enjoyed both takes on it. Most of all I love that you picked this ad, because every time I see it I think WTF?!?!? Who comes up with this shit? And don’t you think those rings will be forever sticky now with honey getting in all the tiny in-between places?
I’m just glad the ad snark is back!
Oh the journey through honey > jar > breakfast > toast was pretty clear I thought. Though I tend to do this with jokes a lot – take it on a journey in my head that no one else can follow, except maybe John, but that’s bad cause it just leads me on and then I get strange looks from everyone else.
Huzzah! Glad I’m not the only one. The happies, I has it.
I take weird journeys in my head too, and end up bringing up a lot of non-sequiturs (to normal people who don’t make odd associations like I do).
So … I was temporarily distracted and missed the first post, thus missing my opportunity to comment on the joke before I read the explanation of the joke, which would normally ruin the joke except when in your capable hands. Because now it’s even funnier.
Huzzah. A most excellent return of the ad snarks.
Now if you could please deal with those super creepy Kay Jeweler ads where the guy looks like a murderous stalker and you keep wanting to tell the woman, “Listen to the music! Don’t go in! Don’t … go … in.”
I followed! I was there! It was funny!
Although my main focus was on sticky rings. i’ve spent the last ten minutes poking at my hands and picturing how you would get honey out from between your fingers. I can FEEL the stickiness. It’s worse than the tickling I get whenever I see spiders on tv.
Excuse me while I go wash my hands Lady Macbeth-style.
I definitely did get it the first time 😉 But your second attempt and explanation makes it all the more funny.
I remember first seeing that and just thinking “wtf?”. I still don’t get it. The honey, that is. What does honey have to do with rings?!
Hahahahahahahaha
lol, no worries! Anyway, I was mostly confused by the rings and how they defy gravity.
See, I figured he was putting honey in his breakfast tea, which he obviously eats with buttered toast. I got it.
I took it and I laughed.
I was mostly like “gawdammit so sick of these effing stupid blahblahblah”. If C had put my ring on the honey pot stick as his “innovative proposal” I would’ve freaked out and said no because of the WICedness.
Because I’m not like other people, my brain flashed right to the pin you used to see in women’s bookstores that said “Dip me in honey and throw me to the lesbians.” Then it could be a sort of pro-marriage-equality statement! (But I knew it wasn’t. Stupid advertisements.)
bahaha. i saw this one first too, and was awesomely pleased with your wit and hilarity in BOTH posts. ha.
@Jo: I like the “WICedness”. I am stealing that.
@Lyn: I got it too. Jen = notoriously bad at reading between the lines in English class, but very excellent at getting pop art. You are a jean-yooos, and we need your mind.
I’d like to say I was drunk when I misinterpreted your first post about this. But I wasn’t. I was tired though but that is a lame excuse. Regardless, I am going to start threatening to butter people’s toasts. also, honey is so messy and sticky. I cannot get the image of annoyingly scrubbing the diamond of out my head 🙂