So this morning while I was getting ready for work I started thinking about the T.V. show Intervention, and I started replaying the end of this one episode in my head where the sister and brother and father read their heartfelt letters of support and then the guy agrees goes to rehab and then he’s happy and everyone is happy and everything works out like aces, and then I remembered this other episode where the dude outright refuses to get help and he stalks off and his family is trailing him and threatening that they’ll break off ties completely, and then I started thinking what if the beau had an addiction? And it was so hard because I knew he was there somewhere under the drugs but it was like he was gone and our parents were despondent and our children were sobbing and then I got so upset that I started crying right there in the bathroom, and I was crying while I was making coffee, and I was crying while I put on my coat, because how goddamn heartbreaking can you get?
Then, on the way to work, I remembered that the beau is not actually addicted to heroin and that we don’t even have any children. In summary, we are all fine and everything is okay. Except for my makeup. That shit’s kind of ruined.
I totally do this same thing.
Except with dreams. I’ll wake up from a dream that I had that stemmed from watching crime shows before bed (our unfortunate addiction) and then I will be upset and tearful for a little until I remember that it’s FAKE.
You are not alone. I do this, usually in my car when a sad song is on the radio. It’s kind of like coming out of a bad dream though, the relief when you snap out of it and everything seems extra bright and sparkly and wonderful. I’m destined to wreck my car doing this one day.
I have done a similar thing on multiple occassions. Sometimes I think about how it would feel if Mr. Beagle died in a car accident. My overactive imagination is bad, because I often end up bawling.
oh MAN, sometimes i think of death like this…or NEEDING to break up for some reason because of addiction, awful changes in ourselves…and every time it swells my face and i well up for no reason…
stop watching reality TV, yo, it’ll be better for your soul, swear.
Oh goodness, I also do this totally morbid thing of imagining scenarios in which Dan dies horribly and slowly, almost as if by imagining it I can train myself to deal with it better should it ever come true. It often coincides with the time of the month, funnily enough, and somehow it’s a bit therapeutic to think of these ridiculous and terrible things and cry about them and feel so much better once I get back to sanity and realize oh yeah, unlikely.
You guys, I’m happy to know I’m not alone in sometimes playing out the worst scenarios in my head. Also, that I’m not the only person who apparently needs therapy.
I must have an overactive imagination too. I get really involved in movies and if the ending isn’t happy, I can end up bawling uncontrollably (if it is a really compelling movie with a sad ending). S is great, and smooths my hair and gently reminds me that it’s just a movie, as I am sobbing into his shirt. I also can get super upset by bad dreams too. And when I start thinking about various future scenarios that I make up in my head. Like a few weeks ago, S said, “Maybe I want this song played at my funeral.” So he pressed play on the song, and left the room about two minutes. By the time he came back, I was a mess on the couch, having just mentally gone through what his death, etc., would be like. He was a little surprised to see my emotional state when he came back. But….I tell myself that because I am an artist, this active imagination works to my benefit….
oh man! it is so good to know I am not the only one! I usually just have crazy involved arguments in my head and end up being mad at someone for the made up things in my head they said to me. or I’m mad they called me fat in my dream or something else equally bad.